Hope

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go.  So and so is on the street again. So and so is cold, and has no coal. So and so is angry. Drama. Drama. Drama. Just a normal day at the office. I’m afraid I have become a little cynical lately. “Of course, she’s drunk again.” “Not in school?  Nothing to eat? Oh, well that’s normal.” Although such a thought occasionally goes through my head, this is not how I want to be. I want to be full of hope, optimistic, life giving. I want to maintain that all things are possible. I want to dream her dreams. I want to stand alongside her, be beside her. I want to be her cheerleader shouting, consistently, “You can do it.” I want to mirror the precious gem she is.

               For the last year, I have had three workers at our shop table working regularly. Over the last month, all three have disappeared. Many days no one has been sitting across from me.  The grandfather of our young high school student died, sending her into a drinking depression, and work back on the street. Another lady is on vacation but called in Friday, so drunk that she didn’t know where she was. The third woman has been suspended due to her serious, unacknowledged alcoholism. This morning, two of these three women called asking what time my church service began, and said they were coming.

               I confess that I had to rehearse how I would greet them. “Where have you been? Are you crazy? Holing up in a hotel room, drinking, what were you doing? You weren't thinking! Wake up! Get it together!” were things I wanted to say. No accident that my morning reflection happened to be about hope and grace.

“May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace . . . that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.” Romans 15:13 Amplified.

They slipped into the back, having shown up late and didn’t sit beside us. After the service, I met them with hugs and kisses; warmly welcoming them with no lectures about past behavior. Love in action was not hard. They inhaled the dumpling, eggs, coffee and cake we shared.

We must offer hope. She has to choose how she wants to live her life. She needs to take responsibility for pursuing her hopes and dreams. But how can she know there are possibilities, when she has been beaten down all her life? How can she have any hope, if those standing around her have none?

A November Saturday

New Stream Honey

         On my 4th cup of tea this morning trying to clear out my pipes in the last stage of a head cold. Feeling super spoiled with Nystrom's home grown honey that was hand carried to our door step by daughter Raina. Even have a dash of lemon juice to add.
        Winter is upon is. Here, of course, that means minus temperatures, inches of ice, and smoke smoke smoke!
         Work is challenging but rewarding. We've lost 2 of our main ladies at Streams to their old life styles. We're heart broken but trusting God is still at work and may even bring them back to us. Staff are putting in extra effort into outreach. Our annual Christmas party tends to touch new ladies and its coming up soon.
      Our favorite 'American Store' has gone out of business because the customs process had gotten too unwieldy. So, we searched in vane for some of the seasonal treats we used to be able to get there. Jim came home from other shopping hunts with snack bags of Cheetohs & Fritos, black olives and pretzels. Yesterday, I found green onions, canned apricots, and the biggest treasure, celery! But no cranberries or yams :( We'll attempt a festive fare this afternoon.
     We are grateful. . . for warmth, loving family, friends & supporters, health, for the privilege to serve, for our marriage, and for the eternally abundant love, grace, and faithfulness our Savior gives. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Can't Change People

We can be there for others: love them, listen to them, pray for them, hold out hope, encourage, support, cry, and laugh with them. But we can’t change them.  When a lady is doing well, I often forget the depth of hurt she struggles with. I can’t understand how familiar her darkness is. When she comes to work, seems to have made a decision for new life, is faithful and consistent for a season, I forget. I forget the pain in her past, the wounds, the giant holes of insecurity, the self -condemnation, the brokenness, the functional, albeit ugly, coping mechanisms. I forget the vastness between my world and hers.

Annie had been with us almost a whole year.  She was doing so well. She had learned most of the jewelry designs. She had a new, wholesome look; she seemed more like her true 19 years. Annie was laughing more, forgiving more and getting angry less. We could chart growth.  She had even gone back to high school. She had new dreams and was on the way to attaining them.    

Then her grandpa died. Her family connections were weak and fragile.  But Grandpa’s presence had been some kind of constant in her life.  Then her roommate surrendered, again, to an alcoholic binge that took her back to the streets, back to her pimp, back to darkness. Annie followed.

               And so we mourn and are reminded that a few months of love don’t change a person. Healing takes time. Change has to happen deep within; it’s more than a new wardrobe, new hair color, and a new routine. 

I was reminded this morning, “Leave the outcomes to God.” He is in the people-changing business. His plans for healing and recovery, for working all things together for good, are much wiser than I can imagine. So, I’m trying to leave the outcomes to Him.

               I’m sad. The sadness feels heavy, like an elephant sitting on my chest. I pray for Annie and Nergui fervently, passionately, desperately. But I must trust that the outcomes, the business of change, are His and His alone. 

Adventures of We 3

It was wonderful adventuring as a family in Mongolia. We lifted eagles, paddled pure waters, ate mutton, were hosted in a ger, hiked Gobi sands, visited herders during horse milking, visited museums & temples, and enjoyed just being together. We're all back to our normal routines but will always savor the memories!

Raina is in Mongolia

Raina is here in Mongolia for the first time. She's enjoying the sites and we're excited to show them all to her.
The day we went to see the largest horse statue in the world, its power went out, so we didn't get to crawl into and upon his head. But that didn't dampen our spirits. We just drove a little further on and visited with a herd of real horses lapping up the near by river. Fun times!!

Logical

We recently had the privilege of helping to move a ger. It seemed totally logical to put the flooring down 1st, then move in the furniture, set up the walls, and finally to put on the roof. Also seemed refreshing, altho convicting, that all of their belongings were packed, moved, house un-built & rebuilt and unpacked in one day.

Sounds

Engines roaring, horns bellowing, girls squealing, sirens whelping, traffic revving, cranes clanking, machinery grinding, bus brakes screeching. The city sounds are constant and innumerable. Usually, I screen out the collective call and notice only the unusual or pleasant reverberations: a parade of emergency vehicle warnings or a friendly flock of sparrows.

               Jim got a wind chime for his birthday last week. We hesitated to put it up for fear of annoying our numerous neighbors. Today, I decided just to try it. I hunted down a few zip ties, unveiled the bell, and stepped out onto our balcony. Wind was gently blowing, my bell in hand was ringing but I barely noticed it. What had been fearfully loud in our apartment diminished to a faint tinkle amidst the clanks of the city.

               Our fear, though a thoughtful consideration, kept us from action, and robbed us of the simple pleasure of listening to a bell in the wind. So often I procrastinate, I justify, I let fear stop me from moving, from following through. I often lose the opportunity to serve or to accomplish a challenging task and lose the joy I would have experienced in the process as well.

               Outside, our tree & petunias are being whipped by the weather. Our freshly hung clangor is playing music. I’m confident that it’s not annoying anyone. Sounds nice.

Habitat Blue Sky Build

July 5th was Jim's birthday. To celebrate, we volunteered at Habitat for Humanity's Blue Sky build where 20 houses are being built this week. We joined teams from Korea, Taiwan, Australia, and New Zealand to help construct homes from cement-Styrofoam blocks meant to be super insulating.

Be Flexible

Adapting to change, flexibility, creativity . . . needing to use all 3 on my route to work these days. So many of my normal routes to work have been blocked . . . by construction, new fences, freshly dug ditches and plain old barricades. Sigh . . .

Incremental Changes

Trash Pile in Front of our Apt. Bldg

New buildings are popping up everywhere, some very western looking. We see fewer horse carts going past our building and more massive dump trucks. The landscape is changing. Jim just read an article that said in the last two years 23 schools have been built and 400 city buses have been added to the UB fleet. The buses we've noticed, the schools we haven't. For some, Mongolia's increasing wealth means luxury and extravagance. For others it means only inflation and hardship. One of the ladies at Streams must move because the owner of her small wooden shack in the ger district, is selling the land. So she's been shopping. But the prices even in the ger district are beyond her means. She is needing to get creative and suggested she may need to move back to the countryside. It will be too expensive to commute to work with us. Perhaps she will start a small grocery shop out of her home, she said.

New Trash Bin Added this Week

Whole new neighborhoods are growing up around the capital city. Closer to home, the changes are happening on a much smaller scale. Our trash collection site has become a crudely constructed bin. Though minimal, it is improvement, none the less.